7/14/2026
I just ate a froze BRC burrito my mom made, I have been so thankful to eat consistently on the same schedule at camp in which I don’t have to prep the food or clean up, lol now back home I have to get back on my own lonely routine. I just finished 4 hours of the second day of a 5 day tennis clinic for our returning varsity boys/girls tennis players and our new incoming group of players. So rewarding but SO TIRING! Coaching is very physical, and even more mental. “Behind every great player is a coach that believed in them first.”
I just got back from Camp Conrad Chinnock, my June weekends consisted of family camps which is very therapy based and I LOVE IT (I used to go with my mom as a kid so that has my heart a bit), then June to beginning of July, a week of Session 1 (kids camp where I was a CIT director, helping mentor and guide our future staff, 18 y/o’s, the second year Counselor in Trainings) and a week of Session 2 (teen camp, where I was the Camp Director’s [Mckenna Wilson] admin assistant). Session 1 was honestly, one of the best weeks of my life. When I was telling Taylor about it I cried from such love and amazement. It was a week of growth, support, mentorship, empowerment, laughter, tears, challenges, compassion, community, humility, love and all the rest. Camp is not for the weak. But I am certain that every person who chooses the camp route is capable of growing to work on finding their light and shrinking their darkness, and being the best they can be with what they have.
Session 2 wasn’t a role my passions could thrive, but I was able to support a lot in new ways that are NEEDED at camp. It gave me insight into running a summer camp, guiding fellow staff members, helping others feel seen, seeking out gaps, bringing the magic and getting video footage so I can make a camp compilation video in which I can share interviews and clips for others to learn about camp. I set boundaries this year so I don’t get burnt out, so I am missing week 2 (Session 3) of teen camp, so I can focus on me….and help Salinas with the future tennis team down the hill at Yucaipa High School. Going to my cousin, Megan’s wedding this Friday, then me, my mom, Jake and Taylor are getting a rented motor home and going up to Mono Village, by twin lakes past Bishop for the week. I’m excited! We used to go every year as kids. Taylor and I went last year, excited to go with some of the family. Bryce and his wife can’t make it, maybe another time. (Yes my brother bryce got married, recently, haha, we are happy for him, Nikki is an awesome gal)
OH I also didn’t get my surgery, conflicting philosphy with the plan of action and the surgeon, I want to get second opinions, also July is the BUSIEST MONTH of the year and I didn’t want to be strung up in my room, especially with such wonderful opportunities I have had at camp. Session 4 of camp will be kids camp again and I will be working with 1st year CIT’s, the 17 year olds who are aging out of being a camper, we have a great group of CIT’s coming up, I can’t wait! BTW I have updated my personal philosophy page to include the rag program that has helped align my heart over the years so check it out if you are curious~
Then summer ends, girls season of tennis starts, and life gets a little more routine again. Looking foward to girls season for tennis, it is going to be a good one 😉
Drink I am digging: V8 energy drinks (they are healthier ingredients, less chemicals)
Book I am listening to right now: Becoming by Michelle Obama (Part of my family is full of Obama criticizers, so they don’t get why I am reading this, but I wanted to give it a listen as I have heard good things, and respected Michelle as the first lady and her heart/action supporting youth health and nutrition and, well, I wanted to make opinions for myself. I am only 7 chapters in, which they were about her upbringing and observations, SO INSIGHTFUL! It gave me as a white person from southern California a different understanding of life for others. This next chapter is where Michelle graduated and is working as a new lawyer and just met her coworker, Barack Obama. I love listening to her stories and perspective. Highly recommend.)
Song I am digging: Black Eyed Peas I LOVE THEM! They actually sing about so many cultural issues and human struggles. The song I like for boogy vibes is “The Boogie that Be”. A classic is “Let’s get it Started”, or “Where is the Love?” is also a known classic that really addresses the lack of love and darkness (see below)….but “Ring the Alarm pt.1 pt.2 pt.3″ (also see the video below) has lyrics that really address the issues of society around us.
Food for thought, story form from TBEP’s 🙂
5/27/2026
Currently subbing in the same classroom I had my HS senior year English in with Mr.Stewart. Subbing for seniors days before their last day of public school isn’t ideal because they are all checked out, but I can get a lot of work done haha. Talking with seniors also reminds me of how awkard I can be, hahahaha ugh it is what it is, k-10 is my jam. Working as an elementary teacher in my future is up my alley just with my energy and heart, and I get to coach the HS students in tennis on the side so it’s a good balance. I like middle school too but some of them are psycho hooligans so it is tiring.
Will sub tomorrow in an elementary school which I always enjoy. Not many school days left to sub. I’m looking forward to summer as I can do a little living and creating and exploring. I am excited for that! Although. I am dreading getting ACL reconstruction and meniscus surgery…I am worried how that will affect my active lifestyle and coaching…waaaahhhhhh
Quote on the board in front of me: “A goal without a plan is just a dream” – Brian Tracy
Taylor shared this song with me, it’s a good one, and the part at 2:44 is just AMAZING!
Books I am reading right now: The Beginning Comes After the End: Notes on a World of Change by Rebecca Solnit
Food I am digging: Pasta Salad (Pasta, cucumbers, tomatoes, olives, bell peppers, mozzarella balls, artichoke hearts, banana peppers, garbanzo beans, italian dressing, salt/pepper) YUUUMMMMmmmmm Thanks to my sista, Serena~
5/11/2026
Lots of changes right now, lotssss. All good, they are invited and welcomed, I guess it is apart of growing into the person I want to be, or architecting the life I want to live. Everyday I am battling my own darkness in tandem with support of my light. It is humbling when I catch a new perspective of me and it’s not what I used to think it was HAHA, I am learning patience and grace. Trying not to let my heart and passion blind me of the present goal which is just to enjoy life and be alive! What a gift. I am thankful for tennis and the constant grounding I go through when I am playing myself, and coaching. I took the evening for myself instead of running around like I normally do and it has been good, just ate an apple and peanut butter,,,I should be doing school work, but I needed to get some creativity out. I looked through my website pages and wow I didn’t realize I am a pretty good artist! Lol, looked through a bunch of my photos from the farm in Michigan and it had me missing the life over there and the beauty! I put some photos on my photography page go check them out. Went to Pappy and Harriets this weekend in Joshua Tree with Taylor to see 49 Winchester, that place is COOL. It reminded me there is beauty in everything, and getting away is good.
Songs I am enjoying: “If I get High” by Nothing But Thieves
This song is nice, I liked it because the passion and beauty of the song I heard on the animated show “Invincible”, but then I watched the music video and it is about a boy and is mother who passed, it made me think of dad, it is sweet. But when I listen to it I can’t help but cry.
Going to one more firefighter memorial this weekend in Idaho. These weekends are pretty amazing seeing the collective of firement supporting each other and recognizing those we have lost. So cool, also heavy, sorrow is flowing in everyones hearts. Some days I think I outgrow my grief and then dad pops in my mind in a way my body just needs to cry, and it is ok….I feel it as a way to see him again.
4/15/2026
I am listening to Colors of the Wind by Judy Kuhn from Pocohontas, Earth Day is coming up!!!! My favorite holiday 🙂 I have been in a creation incubation for months, I have moments where I FEEL my inner creativity stirring, SO MANY IDEAS!!! I get lost in all the ideas to the point I can’t decide what to do and I end up doing nothing. I am now putting my energy towards doing. Creating. Being. Next week we are going to paint the tennis sheds and clean up the tennis courts. That weekend we are doing Love Yucaipa, where a bunch of people are going to put their time, energy and resources towards helping out our little town! How AWESOME! I plan on driving around town and getting footage of any projects and people working to share their hearts for this Earth. Additionally, I am moving rooms and I feel like that will help me reset my sleeping and working space so I can release the creation onto everything I touch. Lol. My knees are still healing…they are NOT as bad as they were a few months ago. I tore my ACL and bilateral tears on my meniscus. ACL is structural so I don’t have an important brace in my knee that led to my next meniscus tear which that cushion is injured and that brings pain. SO the pain has subsided and I might get surgery, but until then I am back to playing pickleball, and little bit of tennis. The boys tennis team lost yesterday which means we got 4th in league. No worries, they worked hard and played hard, season will be done in 2 weeks so I will get a break once that is done with. I value this season with the boys! I learned a lot as a coach and am excited to continue this journey.
Songs I am enjoying: “Greenhouse” by Aaron Alvira (This is peaceful~)
1/19/2026
I feel good. I can’t put it simply in words, but I am living life in a way that balances my talents, heart and energy so I enjoy life and am constantly growing. Things just feel right, I am back on the right journey that is meant for Addie and I am pleased! Tennis has my heart, I just ordered a wetsuit to get into surfing, new music to dance in my room to and I feel more seen at the schools, less like a stranger and more a person kids can come to, to be seen as well. 🙂
I have gained self trust back,,,which due to some of my life choices, I have become a stranger to over the years. I share sympathy for my past self for the challenges I embarked when I wasn’t in tune with my inner self. Living in fear driven by shame showed me it is safer to try and fit into others worlds by shrinking myself & outsourcing authority, when in reality my world encourages me to expand courageously & share my light which both feels right for me and helps others get in tune with their light as well. It is not easy, although each and every experience reminds me I do not need to abandon myself as I am capable of navigating the challenges that arise and that I have the tools to handle it. I still find fear hiding within me at times, but each moment is a reminder that “love always wins”, just have to learn how to execute it for the best and trust, me. But part of that includes involving others to help execute the vision, and I now have been finding people who are on the same journey as me, and we take each other in on our teams to help conquer life.
I think last year I would have said I am “lonely” since moving back, but now my solitude is my zen. My relationship with mistakes has evolved, instead of evidence of failure, it acts as feedback to help me recalibrate and continue. I have have found friends from putting myself out there and expanding on my hobbies (tennis, pickleball, hiking, surfing (apparently I am a surfer now), art, dancing, working at the schools, coaching, etc) and it reminds me that even when we are in a rut, life is never over!!
Everything I do is a gift. What a GIFT it is I get to work with hundreds of kids a week. What a GIFT it is I get to use my body to have fun and play. What a GIFT it is I get to enjoy life with others! What a GIFT it is I get to be back in my home town with my family.
Before my dad passed he told me he hopes I have a good life. The cool thing: it is.
Books I am reading right now: The Inner Game of Tennis by W. Timothy Gallwey
Songs I am digging: “Stay” – Daily J
12/24/2025
I am currently located in Yucaipa, CA my home town I left when I was 17 in 2014 to go to college, back living with my mom to be with family since my dad’s passing. I feel like I am in my crysalist while I adjust in my life and figure out my plans/path forward. I am working as a substitute in all grades for YCJUSD…it has been such a humbling and challenging job. It is giving me good experience especially for if I finish getting my teaching credential and become a teacher myself. Yucaipa has been good to me but I don’t want to live here forever. I recently finished illustrating that childrens book I have been working on for years, although I would like to illustrate and author a book of my own. I am a bit in limbo right now but I am taking it day by day. Life isn’t easy, so I am learning to dance with it!
Books I am reading right now: The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho, The Giver by Lois Lowry & Thriving as an Empath by Judith Orloff
Songs I am digging: “Flame” – Roosevelt Remix by Sundra Karma & Roosevelt