1/19/2026
I feel good. I can’t put it simply in words, but I am living life in a way that balances my talents, heart and energy so I enjoy life and am constantly growing. Things just feel right, I am back on the right journey that is meant for Addie and I am pleased! Tennis has my heart, I just ordered a wetsuit to get into surfing, new music to dance in my room to and I feel more seen at the schools, less like a stranger and more a person kids can come to to be seen as well. 🙂
I have gained self trust back,,,which due to some of my life choices, I have become a stranger to over the years. I share sympathy for my past self for the challenges I embarked when I wasn’t in tune with my inner self. Living in fear driven by shame showed me it is safer to try and fit into others worlds by shrinking myself & outsourcing authority, when in reality my world encourages me to expand courageously & share my light which both feels right for me and helps others get in tune with their light as well. It is not easy, although each and every experience reminds me I do not need to abandon myself as I am capable of navigating the challenges that arise and that I have the tools to handle it. I still find fear hiding within me at times, but each moment is a reminder that “love always wins”, just have to learn how to execute it for the best and trust me. But part of that includes involving others to help execute the vision, and I now have been finding people who are on the same journey as me, and we take each other in on our teams to help conquer life.
I think last year I would have said I am “lonely” since moving back, but now my solitude is my zen. My relationship with mistakes has evolved, instead of evidence of failure, it acts as feedback to help me recalibrate and continue. I have have found friends from putting myself out there and expanding on my hobbies (tennis, pickleball, hiking, surfing (apparently I am a surfer now), art, dancing, working at the schools, coaching, etc) and it reminds me that even when we are in a rut, life is never over!!
Everything I do is a gift. What a GIFT it is I get to work with hundreds of kids a week. What a GIFT it is I get to use my body to have fun and play. What a GIFT it is I get to enjoy life with others! What a GIFT it is I get to be back in my home town with my family.
Before my dad passed he told me he hopes I have a good life. The cool thing: it is.
Songs I am digging: Stay – Daily J
12/24/2025
I am currently located in Yucaipa, CA my home town I left when I was 17 in 2014 to go to college, back living with my mom to be with family since my dad’s passing. I feel like I am in my crysalist while I adjust in my life and figure out my plans/path forward. I am working as a substitute in all grades for YCJUSD…it has been such a humbling and challenging job. It is giving me good experience especially for if I finish getting my teaching credential and become a teacher myself. Yucaipa has been good to me but I don’t want to live here forever. I recently finished illustrating that childrens book I have been working on for years although I would like to illustrate and author a book of my own. I am a bit in limbo right now but I am taking it day by day. Life isn’t easy, so I am learning to dance with it!
Books I am reading right now: The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho, The Giver by Lois Lowry & Thriving as an Empath by Judith Orloff
Songs I am digging: Flame – Roosevelt Remix by Sundra Karma & Roosevelt